Breaking up is never easy.
Knowing how hard it can be to break up over the phone, I always end up texting the other person.
However, I don’t like doing that.
It feels impersonal and even rude sometimes.
That’s why I promised myself that I would conquer my fear of phone calls.
Today, I and the people who live around me are on the same page.
Here’s how.
Breaking Up is Not an Ordinary Thing
First and foremost, you have to remember that the person you are breaking up with has shared some of their most intimate moments with you, even if just for a month. Never approach a break up over the phone with an attitude or it’ll hit back after a while.
Instead, do this.
Pick up a piece of paper and start jotting down random things that happened with the other person. Do you find yourself smiling when you write these things, or do you simply write down a laundry list of uneventful moments? If you’re gravitating towards the second, then you shouldn’t even feel bad.
Quite simply, this is not the person for you.
Instead, if you find yourself smiling for that one morning you spent at the cafeteria with them, then you have to go through a reality check. Why are you breaking up with this person? How are they going to feel about it? Does it make sense to break up over the phone or should you do it in person?
Remember that if you felt something, it probably means the other person did as well. This is not always true, and it can be a one-sided thing in some cases, but you shouldn’t rush it. Breaking up is not an ordinary thing and you shouldn’t treat it as such.
Do Not Ask for Advice from Friends or Parents
Most people would tell you to ask for advice from friends or parents, but you shouldn’t do it. Yes, handling this stuff on your own can be tough, but there’s no other person in the world that can tell you how to cut the line with your once loved one.
Breaking up doesn’t necessarily mean going from one end to the other overnight. It can be a process, and that’s perfectly fine the way it is. If you want to break up over the phone, make sure that you are clear and concise. Don’t beat around the bush.
Of course, you’ll probably be nervous, but that’s perfectly normal. If you weren’t, it would probably mean that you didn’t care all that much about the other person in the first place. Hopefully, that’s not the case, but if it is, be honest and straightforward. Talk loud and clear.
If you want to break up over the phone, you have to make it a statement. There’s no middle ground, no little bit of this and little bit of that. You must commit, which is hard. Really hard. Especially when you’ve gotten used to somebody’s presence, saying “no” becomes an insurmountable wall of painful denial.
The Other Option
The act of breaking up over the phone is stressful, and if you’re going through other problems in your life, it’s not always a smart move to add more stress on top of them. That’s why, if you really can’t imagine doing the break-up task yourself, you can always ask someone else to do the heavy lifting for you. In other words, you can ask somebody to break up over the phone on your behalf.
Asking someone else to do this for you, basically a person who isn’t emotionally involved, can be the difference between stumbling upon words (and maybe even backing out) and a fast, worry-free break-up.
But again, think it through. Look at your own position from an external point of view and think about how the other person would feel if you let someone else call them. If you think they’d be okay with that, do it! It really is an easy way to offer some relief from this dreaded moment.
And finally, you will be able to focus again on your own growth.
